Does God Play Favorites?
When you see others succeeding in areas you can’t seem to catch a break, how does it hit your heart? What thoughts run across your mind when you read about the many blessings found in the Bible? What about when you and your friend have been praying for months to get pregnant and she calls to tell you that God answered her prayers. And you are still waiting.
When you experience these things, does that secret place down deep inside cry out, “what about ME, Lord?? Why don’t you bless me like you bless everyone else?? Why don’t you love me?”
Does that sound familiar? Can you relate to those tormenting thoughts?
I sure could and I bet you probably can too. We get this unhealthy mindset that others are more blessed, happy, and prosperous than we are. We assume it is because God is playing favorites. We try to be happy for them but down deep it still hurts to feel ignored by God.
To make things worse, it is a favorite tactic of Satan to convince us that we are the only ones to go through this. It leaves us feeling rejected by everyone, even God.
But is it true? Does God play favorites? Does he love some of his children more than others? If so, why? How do you get to be one of the chosen ones?
Me Too
I came to Christ as a young adult with unhealthy baggage. I felt unworthy, forgotten, and cast aside. Never feeling “enough”, I was positive God didn’t delight in me and actually regretted creating me. I don’t know when those ungodly seeds were planted down deep into my mind but it was horrible to feel so unwanted. It wasn’t that I wanted to feel things that way, I truly didn’t know how to see things differently.
Many times I would be told by well-meaning Christians to leave those feelings at the foot of the cross and move on. But I had no clue how to do that. I would pray expecting the feelings to be gone instantly and they never were. I would read my Bible and repeat phrases over and over like a mantra hoping they would sink in. But I had a problem there too. It seemed everywhere I read in my Bible I could see evidence of God playing favorites. It further validated my deep-seated belief that God not only played favorites but that I would never be one.
Gradually as I stayed in Scripture (despite what I saw as God rejecting me) I started to see things in a new light. My husband helped me when he gently explained that the Bible doesn’t contradict itself. If I read something that seemed to be a contradiction it was either my thinking that was skewed or I hadn’t learned yet how to put verses together so that Scripture explained Scripture. In my case, I think it was both.
So I went on a quest for God’s truth by answering the questions I asked above. And God is so good to us, friend! He didn’t reveal this truth to me all at once. I’m pretty sure He knew I couldn’t handle more than a chunk at a time. But I kept knocking and sweet Jesus kept answering.
Now, that doesn’t mean that Satan doesn’t bring back those ugly lies and taunt me with them periodically. It is, after all, what he does best. When that happens, I know that I have to gird up my loins and remind myself of a few of the truths God had already revealed to me.
It is these truths that I would like to share with you here so that you too, through the power of the blood and the power of Scripture, can break free of similar mental strongholds.
What Is Favoritism?
My quest for knowledge began with deciding to look up the definition of favoritism. As I explain in my Verse Mapping post, even if you think you know what a word means, take the time to look it up. Many times (though not always) the definition we have in our head is secular, not biblical.
So before we look at what the Bible says about God playing favorites, let’s make sure we are on the same page about what favoritism is.
I looked it up in my online dictionary and it says that favoritism is the practice of giving unfair preferential treatment to one person at the expense of another. It is also called partiality, preference, prejudice, and bias.
Hmmm. Interesting. Then out of curiosity I looked up the word partiality and found this: “inclined to favor one party more than the other: being biased. It is inconsistent with justice to be partial.”
According to the concordance, favoritism and partiality are the same. However, in the New King James Bible, favoritism is used twice (Luke 20:21, Galatians 2:6) and partiality is used 24 times. In the Blue Letter Bible, it says that “being partial is the fault of one who, when called on to give judgment, has respect of the outward circumstances of man and not on their intrinsic merits, and so prefers, as the more worthy, one who is rich and powerful over one who does not have these qualities.”
Wait a minute. It says to be partial is a fault and gives an unfair preference based on outward appearances. Does that sound like the character of God to you? Or does that sound like what we do?
What Does The Bible Say About Partiality and Favoritism?
God loves us all equally.
God loves us all equally and that is why He gave us the gift of his only son to die in our place to atone for our sins. He didn’t do that for everyone but me. He didn’t do that for every race and nationality except mine. He did it for every soul who has been created. . Even me. (John 3:16, John 1:12)
I know you might be tempted to brush that off but take time to let it sink deep.
You weren’t born by accident and you weren’t created without a purpose. God knew what you needed so He sent Jesus to die in your place…even before you knew him or loved him. He loved you that much!
So when you think you will never be “enough”, you are right. When you are weak it allows you to lean into God’s strength. Nothing you ever do will be good enough to equal what Jesus did. Nothing you do will ever be bad enough that God won’t forgive you when you ask. He adores you so much that His eyes are always on you and he is always listening to what you say. God couldn’t love you more than he does right at this very moment!
When we say that God favors one child over another, we base that assumption on our human understanding. We look at others through the lens of the flesh and treat them one way or another depending on whether their outward (looks, status, prosperity) appeal to us. Then we assume that God thinks like we do and treats people the same as we do. But He doesn’t. God is not a respecter of persons (Acts 10:34, 1 Samuel 16:7).
As it says in Isaiah 55:8-9, God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. He isn’t limited to our human reasoning. Shallow emotions never control or consume God the way they do us.
I have three children. I would die for each one of them today if it meant saving their life. I don’t love one over the other. They are all unique and completely different from each other, and yet I adore their uniqueness and individuality.
I love my grandbaby like nobody’s business. Soon Eli’s little brother will be joining us, and I will love him just as much. Malachi will not replace Elijah in our hearts; he will add to, not take away from.
I am positive that is how God sees us; as individuals whom He takes great delight in.
Because God treats us equally, He expects us to treat others as equals too (Proverbs 28:21). Nobody is exempt from this. From cover to cover the Bible addresses this issue. Here are just a few: the book of Galatians addresses the problem of treating one group better than another. In Ephesians, masters (bosses or church leaders) and slaves (employees or congregation) are encouraged never to show favoritism (Ephesians 6:9). Again in James chapter 2, we are told not to give preferential treatment.
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
(John 15:12-13)
God Favors obedience, Not People
With our natural (carnal) minds, it is so easy to read accounts in the Bible and view them from the perspective that God has favorites. The truth is, God favors obedience, not people. Paul says so in Acts 10:34-35 when he tells us that every person in every nation who fears (obeys) God and works righteousness (lives uprightly) is accepted by God.
As we seek to honor Jesus in all we do, God’s favor follows us. To honor him means to obey him (1 Samuel 15:22). When we are in obedience God is well pleased and blesses our obedience. He makes no allowances for one person that he doesn’t make for someone else.
Therefore, when I see that sister in church who seemed to have it all together and I am feeling less than, maybe the problem isn’t in the blessing she received but in my obedience since the blessing starts there. Maybe she obeyed in an area that I did not. Since God loves us both equally, I have to expect to be equally held accountable for my obedience because anyone who does wrong will be held accountable (Colossians 3:25). Nobody is exempt from that either; that is true justice.
Speaking of that sister in church who seems to have it all together and seems to be incredibly blessed, you have to realize that she is probably looking at someone else and wishing she had their blessings! It is an ungodly cycle to put our eyes on a person and covet what they have (Exodus 20:17). We will be much happier if we learn to be content with whatever blessing our gracious Lord allots us (Philippians 4:11-13).
“You have wearied the Lord with your words. But you say, “How have we wearied him?” By saying, “Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the Lord, and he delights in them.” Or by asking, “Where is the God of justice?”
(Malachi 2:17)
“God will repay each person according to what they have done. To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor, and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; but glory, honor, and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism.”(Romans 2:6-11)
God Hates Injustice
When we decide that God is unfair, we base that on our limited understanding and fleshly desires. We are the pot, not the potter (Isaiah 45:9, Romans 9:20-22). It is God’s honor and privilege to determine what is fair or right and who gets to do what when.
That said, God hates unjust scales (Proverbs 11:1, 16:11, 20:10). It is not the character of God to love one more than another or to play favorites. That would be unjust. God would never tell us to act one way (”do not show partiality”) and then turn around and act the complete opposite. That just doesn’t make sense. God has one standard that He expects to be upheld by all.
God doesn’t change. Not once do we see Jesus acting contrary to this principle. It made Jesus angry to see the poor treatment of those society deemed unworthy. I believe that is because favoritism undermines everything about the Gospel of grace. We are told over and over to care for the sick, the lame, the widowed, the poor, the cast aside, etc (Matthew 25:34-40). Those are the words of a God who treats all equally and demands the same of us.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.”
(Matthew 5:43-48)
Conclusion
Here is what I want you to take away from this post: God wants you, even with your emotional baggage. Satan attacks viciously, twisting our perception and our thinking to convince us that we are unworthy of being loved, even by God. God, in His mercy, wants us to know his truth. He doesn’t want you to remain in that mindset, friend. He wants you to move on and grow into the person He created you to be.
It won’t be easy. It will take intentional effort and lots of baby steps of faith. It is a hard, daily battle that you will never fight alone! Your victory in this battle is only possible because of the Holy Spirit working in your life.
But take courage, my friend. With God on your side, you do not have to be afraid of being shoved aside as unwanted and unworthy (Joshua 1:9). Leave the hurt and lies behind by replacing them with God’s truth. God has amazing things planned for you if you would just be willing to go forward with him. Can’t you just hear Jesus whisper, “you have stayed at this mountain long enough. Come with me, my child” (Deuteronomy 1:6)?
Let’s Pray
My prayer for you today is the same prayer Paul prayed over the Ephesians:
“I pray that out of his glorious riches, he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
Amen!